Losing Hope
by Therm
Summary: Summary: She just knew that sooner or later, someone would find her. Warnings: A very minor comic spoiler. The rest is my assumption of what could (or should) happen in future episodes. You know, if the show wasn't written by evil people! A little Daryl/Carol but to subtle it cane be friendship.


_**Title: **Losing Hope_  
_**Summary: **She just knew that sooner or later, someone would find her._  
_**Warnings: **A very minor comic spoiler. The rest is my assumption of what could (or should) happen in future episodes. You know, if the show wasn't written by evil people!_  
_**Notes:** This kinda just came out tonight. I may write more but we'll see how it goes. Carol POV- set sometime after episode ,5 I guess. _

* * *

She had no idea where she was.

She'd run from the walkers, hidden in shadows, used the knife she carried to fight past any walkers that stood in her way and she kept thinking to herself, _'any minute now I'll be safe'_. But it never happened, never came. And then she stabbed one walker with such force that her knife was jammed in it's head and try as she might, she couldn't get the damn thing out. So reluctantly, she left her only weapon behind and turned to the doors, pushing on them until one opened.  
If a walker had been inside she'd have been finished but she was in luck. The room was empty and although it was desperately dark inside, she could see enough to know it was safe.  
She sat with her back to the door hoping that her weight would prove to be enough to stop any walkers trying to get in.  
She listened, almost too afraid to breath as she heard walkers shuffle by and she prayed they'd keep going.

It wasn't until she prayed for the Lord to keep her safe that she realised how little she'd been praying for His help recently and she regretted it. Maybe the Lord was taken his chosen first from this world, maybe that's why T Dog had sacrificed himself for her. She knew he was a truly remarkable, spiritual man.

Even after the rest of them had soured in this new world, he still fought to give those prisoners, Axle and Oscar a chance with the group, not to just turn them away. But none of them had listened.  
Maybe this was their punishment and T Dog's brief minutes of pain may be worth it for she couldn't help but believe he would be in a better place now.

She sighed, letting out a shuddery breath, ran a hand across her face to remove the sweat and grime on it. Pushed her hand through her hair.  
She wondered if the others had even made it. It had been chaos but she believed that some of them must have. Daryl, Rick... they were tough, they were the type to fight 'til the end, she just hoped the others would make it too. But her guts twisted with the idea that maybe no one made it. Maybe this would be the end of their little group. Maybe she'd hide here for a while, but eventually, she'd have to come out of this room, or die inside it.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around herself, closed her eyes and thought about Sophia.  
And she prayed for their safety.

* * *

It was maybe an awareness more than noise that woke her, but she knew something was happening just beyond the door.

She wasn't sure if it was good or bad but she needed to know, one way or the other. She took several deep breaths before she pulled the door open and was met with a gun aimed at her head.

"Carol?"

Carl Grimes stood in front of her, flanked by Oscar and Daryl. Daryl spared her a quick glance before he turned his attention back to the hallways. "You okay?" He asked without looking at her.

"I'm fine."

"Okay, let's check the rest of this block before we head back," Daryl said.

She fell into place behind Daryl and next to Carl. She knew she'd been missing for hours yet they didn't react how she imagined they would. They didn't seem relieved or even happy to see her and she considered that maybe they'd hoped to find more survivors than just her. Maybe this was it.

Before they reached their cell blocks, Daryl handed the keys to Carl. "You head back, I need to speak to Carol, 'kay?"

Carl took the keys and headed off with Oscar. He watched Carl and waited until he was out of the way before he looked at her. And she knew he was braced to tell her terrible news, things he didn't want to have to tell her but had no choice.

She prepared herself for it.

"Lori didn't make it," he said.

"T Dog..." she stared and he nodded. He already knew.

"Thought we'd lost you too. Gotta grave and everythin'..."

A shiver ran through her at the thought of the group huddled together mourning their losses. It wasn't the first group funeral she'd missed though.

"Carl," Daryl said suddenly, as though he'd remembered exactly what it was he stopped her for. "He's... he's trying to be tough and be an adult but the kids lost his Mom and I thought maybe you could..."

She nodded. "I'll try," she promised. "How's Rick doing?"

"He's... a bit better today." Daryl said. "I best go see how he's gettin' on."

She nodded as she watched him walk away.

* * *

Everyone was settled when Carol came in from outside with Carl.

She thought that if she took him away from the others, he might let himself be a little boy again and she had been right. He'd cried. Sobbed into her arms over the Mother he'd lost and told her how awful he felt that he'd been so mean to her these last few months. She'd managed to get the full story from him about Lori's final moments, and she felt her heart feel with joy that despite the tragedy, Lori had held her boy, told him she loved him, what she wanted from him in life- something she'd never been able to do with Sophia. Their final moments together had been Carol watching her as she his beneath a car, terrified, the last sound was her panic filled cries as she fled those walkers.  
She told Carl how very lucky he was to have those moments, to have a Mother who loved him so much that she would give up everything for him and his Sister because that's what being a Mother was all about.

She wasn't sure how much it helped Carl, but when he went back inside, he held himself upright, trying to be a man. He sat next to Rick, who was sat at the table looking blankly at the table, lost in his own world of grief and pain. He barely noticed Carl sit beside him.

Daryl was say on the steps, Lori's baby in his arms. She was surprised to see him holding the baby but he looked like a natural and as she came closer, she saw the baby was sleeping soundly. Clearly Daryl had a side she didn't even know about.  
She sat beside him, eyes lost on the infant.

"Wanna hold her?" Daryl offered.

Carol smiled. "She looks cosy. I'll hold her another time," she said. She looked to Rick and Carl, unsure whether to say anything but she felt she needed to. "Has she got a name?"

Carl shook his head, no.

"She talked about baby names when we got here. She said if it were a girl she'd like... Judith... Judy."

Rick's eyes flickered and he straightened a little. "That was my Mother's name," he said quietly.

"She liked that it was traditional but not too old fashioned."

Rick nodded, a flicker of a smile on his lips. "She always called Mom Judy..." Rick said and she saw that he was lost in his memories again and before she could say anything else, Rick was getting up and walking back into the depths of the prison again.

"Should someone go after him?" Carol asked.

Daryl shook his head. "Best let 'im grieve his own way for a while," and he rocked the baby in his arms a little, whether to comfort himself, she wasn't sure.

"Here," Maggie said, giving Carol a bowl with some food in it. "Glad you're okay," she said.

She felt a lump in her throat as she remembered T Dog's sacrifice again. She'd tell them about it when the group was a little stronger. They were all so delicate right now. Clinging to one another. Protecting one another.  
She saw the way Daryl kept checking over at Carl, and when he caught Beth's eye, there was some sort of signal he must have given her to try and distract the kid from everything. And she did. She did her best.

Carol looked at the baby. She reached her hand across and stroked her hair. "She's so beautiful," she said, feeling so many conflicting feelings.

"Judith," Carl said suddenly. "Her name's Judith. I like it." and a small smile played on his lips.

"Ya sure?" Daryl asked. "Thought we were goin' with little ass kicker?"

Carol nudged him but the others smiled and laughed at the comment and she realised it was something she had missed out on, but she could ask Daryl about it later. They were smiling. They were all together and smiling.

Carol reached out and held onto to Judith's hand, her fingers brushed against Daryl's as she realised he was holding the babies hand too. "Sorry," she said, removing her hand.

"S'okay," Daryl said, as he reached across and moved her arm back across until she could hold Judith's hand in her own. Daryl's hand slid down until it was on top of her hand and he gently rubbed his thumb back and forth across her skin.  
He'd missed her. More than he could say and he wanted to feel her, to know she was really there. Feel her warmth, her presence.

They'd lost so much.  
All of them had lost family, friends. They'd lost the life they knew, the places they thought would be safe and they'd lost their freedom.  
But now they had Judith.  
Lori's final gift to the group. A beautiful healthy baby.  
A chance to fight back against this harsh new world and let it know that they weren't defeated yet.  
A chance to show that they weren't losing hope.


End file.
